Coping With Divorce
Your spouse has just told you they are leaving. They do not want to be married to you any more. You’re feeling overwhelmed, shocked and unsure of what to do. You try and bargain with them, to understand why, where things went wrong. They say it is just not working; the feelings are not there. You watch as they pack a bag, and walk out of the door. You slump down, in a ball, crying, trying to understand, looking back at how you could have been better. Then you think of the kids, or family and friends. How do you explain this to anyone, when you are unable to understand it yourself?
Alone, utterly alone, not wanting to burden others with your thoughts. You try and process this loss on your own, going through the guilt, fear, anxiety and depression that divorce can trigger. It is not easy, no matter how long you have been married; the ending can traumatize you. You might feel like a failure, and fear ever entering into another relationship.
At this point you need support, someone who is on your side. You need an unbiased person to help you understand the next steps. Someone who can listen and help you handle your emotions. Someone who can guide you in the process of divorce, someone who can educate you.
Through therapy, you can process your thoughts and feelings about your marriage, divorce and gain insight into what your future will look like. Picking up the pieces after such a loss is not easy, but it is worth it. Finding yourself, really looking at your strengths is beneficial to being able to move forward.
You will need to process the transition from being a “couple”, to being single. You can find out who YOU are without a partner. You may have given parts of yourself away to be in a partnership, but now you can find your own interest again.
Therapy can help you obtain goals; help you to build your new life, and aid in self-reflection during this transition. You can begin to understand what your wants and needs are for your future, along with being able to communicate these to others.
Over time, you will understand your own worth, and realize that you are capable of being single and making a life for yourself.